I heard Amazing Grace (you know, for the millionth time) the other day, but this time something struck me…one of those verses that don’t get too much attention usually:
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
‘Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
This time, the words hit me differently than any other time; I heard it through the scope of my infertility journey. From our infertility stories. We have all experienced (or more likely, are currently experiencing) dangers, toils, and snares. Hell, infertility is nothing if not fraught with dangers, toils, and snares. Shudder.
You know what is impressive, though? Us. We keep on picking ourselves up; living our lives. These lives that are so different than what we had pictured. These lives that will never be vastly unaffected by our bodies.
You…the woman starting the road to your first IVF, terrified and worried about the shots.
You…the woman in the middle of your fifth IVF, terrified and worried that the result will be status quo.
You…the couple deciding adoption is the right path for you, beginning a whole new waiting game.
You…the woman undergoing her first, sixth, tenth surgery; hoping this is the salve to finally help you heal.
You…the woman who is experiencing an ectopic, a miscarriage, a loss; hurting more than you ever thought possible.
You…who has the strength to say, “Enough.” and redefine your life with different terms.
You…who has part or all of your happy ending; reaching back to support others through their trials.
You…the woman tiptoeing into the scary world of surrogacy.
All of us…we all have such different paths, but no less terrifying, difficult, and painful.
We are amazing.
Nothing will ever be simple for us. Even though it is devastating and unfair, maybe it’ll be okay. We have a different reality, but we are still here. Living. No, not living. Thriving.
We are grace.